Why reaching out to your network actually works

I met Sarah through Being Freelance - one of those online communities where you think you're just lurking but occasionally someone says something that makes you go "oh, I should actually talk to this person."

She'd commented on a post about design, I checked out her work, and I sent her a message. Not a pitch, just "fancy a coffee?" Because honestly, I was looking for someone to have an actual conversation with. Someone who gets what it's like to be freelance, to be doing everything yourself, to need a brain that isn't your own for five minutes.

We had the chat. Talked about our work, our businesses, what we were struggling with. She mentioned her website was a bit of a mess - DIY Wix setup that she'd been patching together for years. I mentioned I had no idea how to talk about what I do without it sounding like everyone else.

And then we realised: we could help each other. ❤︎

So we did a trade. I'd sort her brand and website, she'd write my messaging framework. Proper collaboration, not just "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" but actual skill-swapping between people who respected each other's work.

Here's what I've learned from working this way

Reaching out isn't about getting clients immediately

When I messaged Sarah, I wasn't thinking "potential client." I was thinking "this person seems sound, and I'd like to talk to another human who understands this work." The collaboration came later, organically, because we'd actually built a bit of trust first.

Most networking advice is about collecting contacts. But the connections that actually lead somewhere are the ones where you're just... connecting. Having a conversation. Seeing if you like each other.

Trading skills works when you both value what the other does

This wasn't "I'll do your website if you do my copy." It was "your work is excellent and I need that" from both sides. We both went into it knowing the other person was really good at what they do.

That matters. Because if you don't genuinely rate someone's work, you're just doing favours, and favours feel like a burden. But trading skills with someone whose work you respect? That feels like a win for everyone.

You end up with better work when it's collaborative

Because we were both invested in each other's success (and because we'd built an actual relationship first), the work was better. Sarah asked good questions, pushed back when something didn't make sense, and wrote messaging that actually sounds like me. I did the same for her - we had proper conversations about what her brand needed to feel like, not just what it needed to look like.

It wasn't transactional. It was collaborative. And the work's stronger for it.

The isolation of freelancing is real

One of the best things about this whole project wasn't even the end result (though her website looks brilliant and I'm finally able to write content without second-guessing every word). It was having someone to talk things through with. Someone who gets it.

When you're freelance, you don't have colleagues. You don't have someone to bounce ideas off over coffee, or someone to vent to when a project's going sideways. You're just... on your own.

Reaching out to your network - not for work, just for conversation - fixes that. Even if you never work together, you've got someone who understands what you're dealing with.

So yeah, reach out

Not with a pitch. Not with an agenda. Just reach out to someone whose work you respect and see if they fancy a chat.

You might end up collaborating. You might just end up with a good conversation. Either way, you'll be less isolated, and that's worth it on its own.

And if you do end up working together? It'll probably be better work than you'd have done with a stranger off a cold email.